What?

When we began this week I knew it had potential to be busy as we had extra "things" going on. I had no idea what an understatement that was. I'm not sure it turned out to be all that much busier but for some reason it was harder, emotional, and taxing. What went wrong? I started with Monday when I got frustrated at work with some scheduling and stats. It continued on Tuesday with getting called in to Mory's to do a speech eval which wouldn't have been bad accept that meant I would not get home till 7:00 (at least). It got worse. I was the last one at work with late patients and because I misplaced my key a couple of weeks ago realized I had no way to lock up the clinic. So after begging a co-worker to interrupt her supper (thanks Natalie)to come lock the door so I could leave I finally make it to Mory's. It is now 6:45. I quickly realized that this patient was not willing to have this eval done and there was absolutely no paperwork, including the script in her chart. I kind of need these things. So, at 7:15 I give up and go home knowing that I'll have to figure out how to this the following night. On top this I was stressed with feeling bad that my program Baby Signs was not getting the registrations needed to make this program fly. So once I'm home Eric brings Lilly home so that I can see her for awhile and then picks Madeline up from Gymnastics. It's now 8:00. Clue: Madeline doesn't deal well with coming home, not seeing mom till this time and being told she has to go to bed. Yikes!! Lilly was not all that happy either. Talk about Mommy guilt.
Wednesday: I felt "light" as I left the house but was sure I had it all together and today would be better. Wrong. We received news that our friends dog was not doing well and not expected to make it much longer. This was hard as it brought up alot of feelings of grief for Chad. Recently, I have realized that I'm at the stage where you feel angy and then you feel guilty because you are angry. I'm angry that we never got a chance to intervene. I fear that we may have missed our chance to intervene. I'm angry that now anything we do is twinged with sadness and grief as we realize our group is different, changed, and that we have to think about it. Even when it seems like it shouldn't play a part in the event it does. I want to go back and have the joy of seeing friends without feeling pain. It makes me mad. And feel guilty that I feel that way. Bailey is now with Chad and as Julie put it Chad must have been calling Bailey and like the obedient pet Bailey listened. I want to apologize and thank my co-workers for dealing with me on Wednesday. I started the day grouchy and this didn't help. Then I realized at 2:00 as I was setting up for the rest of my patients that I had forgot to take Madeline's dance uniform to the sitters in the morning. Yikes. So, I had to call the neighbor and ask her to bail me out once again. I also panicked because it was Parent Day at dance and while I knew I could make it the class I needed to make sure that Jill was still planning on getting Madeline there and not counting on me as I wouldn't have time to get Madeline and get there on time. Exhausted yet? After dance I had to go back to Mory's to try to do this eval. By 6:45 I was done, tired, but knew that the rest of the night was mine to spend with Eric and the girls.
Thursday: I had to get Lilly to play group at 8:30 and be at Parent Teacher conference at the same time. Once again, Gaylene to the rescue. This should not have been any big deal as Lillian is typically more than thrilled to do anything with Gaylene and Don. However, this morning for whatever reason was different. She screamed and cried and I had to strap her in and watch her leave with tears streamiong down her cheecks. More Mommy guilt. It's the worst. There was more to come. Parent-teacher conference success. On time, good reports. Happy teacher, happy kid, happy parents. Madeline is doing great. Next, drive to Omaha to take Madeline to the dentist for what I thought was going to be an awful visit. She was suppose to have a cavity filled, a cap put on a tooth to fix one that the previous dentist killed, and have two teeth pulled to allow space for adult teet to come in. Madeline was being very quiet and half way there I turned to look at her and she was crying with tears running down her cheeks. Great... When we arrived we realized that all that needed to be done was to have two cavities filled as the dentist decided to hold off on the extractions and the crown. YES!!!! Things are looking up right? Madeline must not have believed us because she screamed through most of the appointment. Thanks, Dr. Scott!!! We are glad your liver is doing well. Just as we are finishing this appointment my mom calls to tell me that my uncle died. UHG. I can hear my dad in the background and it's not good. I don't know about anyone else to hear your dad in that state is a little unsettling. Dad had not been very close to Monty for a long period of time. In fact, there were times when we were cussed at when he would find out that we had been visitng or corresponding. But over the course of the past 3 years with Monty fighting colon cancer, heart attacks, ect. and my dad surviving a couple of heart attacks and bypass surgery and both suffering from kidney failure it seemed like they were mending fences. My sister would often report a sighting or know of a conversation the two had a we all smiled that they were able to bond once again. So, we at this time are in limbo. I may leave with the girls and drive with Coyde on Saturday to attend to funeral if it's on Monday or if it's on Tuesday leave Monday after work and return after the funeral Tuesday. So much for hoping for next week to be easier. I should know by now that doesn't exsist. I guess I won't get to go the the husker game:(. Stay tuned for more fun!!!
Delanie